Sweet Lemons

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Rapunzel in my castle.

I am Rapunzel in my castle I am Rapunzel in my castle I am Rapunzel in my castle. in my fucking castle.

I am Rapunzel IN MY FUCKING CASTLE!! RAPUNZEL CASTLE RAPUNZEL CASTLE! AHHHHH!!!
AHHH!.
I hate castle. I will jump off of castle. I will tie my hair to bed post and jump off castle. That will rip my head off and I can bleed to death. Then the witch will be sad. She is the world that is cruel to me. I want to rip off hair and jump of castle. CASTLE OFF THE CASTLE! RUN AWAY! AHAHHAA
Im going crazy. quite crazy indeed.
I am Rapunzle i my castle why. I have no choice. i will cry and jump off my castle. i will not eat. I will not drink. I will jump off this castle.

I am Rapunzel in my castle.

Posted at 06:48 pm by Yinnypoo
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Monday, July 26, 2004

How to Dump a Guy

METHODS!

1. Take victim on a sentimental walk through the park, talking about life.
Then somehow slip in the wisdom: "When life gives you lemons..make lemonade.."
Then stop walking and turn to him when he asks "what's the matter bitch?"
Then look him in the eye and say "you're a lemon.. and you know what I must do.."
He'll say: "make lemonade?"
and you will nodd and bring out a chainsaw.
Then watch him run away.. if he doesn't.. well hey, the guy's stupid.. chop down the nearest tree and build a lemonade stand and place him inside.. tell him goodbye.

2. A nicer way is to make the guy.. think he's the one doin' the dumping. Start by wearing the same thing everyday. Don't Change EVER. Then if he's still ignorant... pretend that you've suddenly believe you've been abducted by aliens and keep calling him your exbf's name. if you don't have one, make one up. Then if that still doesn't work.. start punching him everytime he starts bein'g really funny and get a really weird accent. If that still doesn't work, pretend to be insane and have random fits of rage. If he's really that loyal.. (dude.. what's his problem?) shave your hair.. and sprinkle the remains on him.. and if THAT doesn't work.. AHHHH! pretend he dumped you and act mad and run away..

3. I dunno.. I guess I'm really bored. if you really wanna dump a guy.. make a list of why you think you should.. and then communicate with him. if he starts to call you swear words.. slap him and walk away and never talk to him again after some very wise last words.

4. just one day stop talking to him and pretend you have amnesia?

Disclaimer: Not responsible for any unpredictable wild crazy acts of harm created by the dumpee onto the dumper in a fit of extreme emotion.

Posted at 01:05 am by Yinnypoo
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004

OH YES, UPDATE! PIMP MY RIDE

okay, so since my birthday, everything's gone uphill!

yes, including my NEW CAR..
2004 Hyundai Elantra GT fully loaded.. WITH LICENSE PLATE! WOOHOO!!
I love u little blue car! *muah*
sunroof and kenwood mp3 player with remote .. lol.. why remote?? incase i get too lazy and I can't reach the tuner? lol. or if I'm making out with my teddybear in the back seat?? nah.. lol..

Things to place in my car:
Camera-Check!
First Aid Kit-Check!
Blanket -check!
Water- check!
uh huh.

My car is a big purse.. it'll have all I need!! it's like a NEW HOUSE! but it's gotta be cleaaann.
anywho.. no got much in it now.. but thats okay.

exciting! so far I've driven Jessy and Xian ... Jessy says I should go FASTER and Xian didn't say.. actually he didn't have to, cuz I said it first muahahaha..
So I'm a legal driver... SO?? So what if I don't SPEED likethe rest of you?
When it says 50.. they want u to drive FIFTY!! DUH. I think u all need to see a shrink.. and not me.

When will u ever learn???
and when they tell u not to drink.. DON'T! cuz.. um... 1st of all, It makes you LOOK STUPID!! YES!!
and it DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY!! IT MAKES ME MAD! AND MAKES ME LIKE YOU LESS. it's the TRUTH.

When friends drink.. I feel like I don't know them anymore.. I don't understand why you would want to do that to your body just to feel a false sense of happiness.. and what your idea of happiness is.. because It sure doesn't match mine!!

In this case, My friends... If you drink. STOP. because it's disrespectful to the people who care about you.. and that includes me. and yes i will be pissed off and not talk to you.

I may smile at you, but I won't know you very well anymore. and You won't be anymore happy than what u were before!!

If you all start drinking, I'll ditch you all and befriend nerds. They don't drink. And they don't do drugs. and someday they'll be your boss. or u'll pay them half ur earnings just to try to keep them in ur company.. so that they don't go to MINE cuz ur DRUNK all the time.. GRRR!!! AHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAA.. ahem..

yes I'm mad at you for drinking.
So long.
-yin

Posted at 11:44 pm by Yinnypoo
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Sweeeeeet sweet sixteen

Yes, I got my license on June 30th!! and I saw Mara! and she passed! woop!
and in answer to mara's question:
have you gone driving alone yet?
Yes I have! Grocery shopping too and all that.. and even to pick up friend and go get my TB shot at the hospital!! (mantoux test for volunteering) I hope I turn out negativee lol. Anyways.. it HURT!

weell.. life is GOOOOOD

Hey y'all go visit my newest site
www.rwaa.blogdrive.com
it's the bestest! hmmm....

Anywho.. i love you all!! take care!!
luviez-Yinnypoo

Posted at 11:32 pm by Yinnypoo
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Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Happy Birthday to me..

Hello,

It's my birthday today. Good thing is, I'm 16.. it's my sweet sixteen... and I only had one French Final today.. plus a creme bruler.. and hot chocolate in french class, and a little candy with bon anniversaire. I also had a mini birthday party on the bus with Nate! my birthday buddy. Some of my friends rememebered, and Jessy told me happy birthday on my phone. Thanks guys...

Bad thing is, I don't feel very special. It's not sweet, I feel dazed, I feel like... I'm completely unspecial.
Bad thing is, I didn't get a cake, And I didn't see Bobo anywhere.. was he trying to avoid me?? and I dreamed about him today even.. which makes it WORSE. I STARTED READING YOUR BOOK !! and I have QUESTIONS! but I couldn't find you, I can't see you.. oh I'm so confused! I'd do anythingggggggg...

Bad thing is...it's not very sunny, it's a cloudy day.. it's a cloudy hot humid about to rain day.. but just like me.. I cannot rain, I am incapable of relieving this storm, so I must uphold this burden of tears... blanketed under a hot humid atmosphere.
Bad thing is...I didn't see Bobo anywhere...
Bad thing is...It didn't have to be this way!
Bad thing is... I'm getting one step closer to death! or is that a good thing??
Bad thing is... You hate me you all hate me! I'm supposed to be happy. How can I be happy? My heart really really hurts. and it's not just because of all these little shallow factors shaping my life, I'm here! I'm here! and I'm not here! you choose to ignore me.. bobo!! you choose to ignore me.. WORLD!
You choose to ignore me and I'm not here....
so I sing happy birthday to myself, in fact, I don't even sing it.. cuz it means nothing. It's not raining. LET ME OUT!
It's my BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIN! presents? nope... life? stressful... MY LOVE? GONE!
I love you! but no love returned. OH WORLD! WHAT IS THIS FEELING OF REMORSE? WHY COME NOW? IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, LET ME SMILE!

Posted at 09:16 pm by Yinnypoo
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Thursday, May 27, 2004

How are you??

WHOA>> i forgot to publish this one.. and it's still a draft.. been a while.. so here u go!

Hello,
This is Yin! I'm good how are you?
REALLY HOW ARE YOU?? I really do want to know how you are.. it's not just simply a question that I ask so that u may answer just so that we can get a "convo" started from somewhere.

Possible answers to how are you:

Great! today I...

Good and bad.. I did really well.... but I also... you won't believe what happened to me 3rd hr!

Weird, I felt really confused all day. I got the weirdest feeling after 6th hour about..

HORRIBLE! everything went wrong..

It was fine, I nothing actually went terribly wrong today. I...

BORINGG! OMG I was gonna go craazzyyy trying to....

Frustrating....

YUP! gnite now you goddam phony moron who's as drunk as hell
(a Holdenism from Catcher in the Rye)

Posted at 01:03 pm by Yinnypoo
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School bloggin'

hehe, hello
I'm at school right now. In the English Resource Room. Thats right.
Hmm... I feel kinda silly but dats okie! I dunno what to say! hmm. Well, I dunno, but I gotta go! so haha.. later!!

Posted at 01:03 pm by Yinnypoo
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Thursday, May 20, 2004

I'm rated

My life is rated PG-13.
What is your life rated?

Yup.

Soo.... hmm.. I'm all alone now! Thanks for not talking to me.

Anyways, Today was interesting.. I went to the french breakfast thing.. and all they served .. was two baguettes! I was soo hungry! lol.. but renata, umm.. monica and I forgot her name.. but we had a great time kinda depriving the lilacs on the table of their flowers and turning them into bracelets/ a tiara for monica (who thrives to be queen) lol. jk. but yea.. it was fun! and I got like.. some rewards.. but .. bunch of french nerds is all I can say lol.

um.. I missed "the killing fields" in history.. boo. I wanted to see the 1st half too! what fun is it to start in the middle.. Well, I woke up today to get to school early, but Carrie pulled another AP exam lol.. (she didn't go!) haha.. so yea, I just walked and paced around with Kathryn trying to find katie.. who btw.. got the spotlights all figured out. Anyways... I've had enough of people walking over me for a while. I need some me time. oh btw.. alexis didn't show up at tutoring last night.. oh well.. but no more tutoring for the rest of the year.. :( it just feels kinda weird... I mean. So abrupt without closure. I hope connie agrees to a last session sometime next week just once! please? I don't wanna pull another.. cut off right here thing. I need power over my life.

and maybe some over yours.. lol jk. no really. I feel just horrible.
oh, but I did do something right. I just won't tell u about it. cuz to tell u would make it wrong. I did it for me hunny, not for you. sorry.

anyways. So french breakfast mixed me up, because at lunch I wasn't hungry at alll.... and I slept on the bus back to school. zzzzz. monica and them sang some songs behind me.. but I was too tired.. so I dreamed about their songs.. but madame alto was singing them.. like how she sang La Marseilles for us? lol. yeah. WEIRDNESS.

sooo.. no not how that she sang the anthem. my dreaaam was the weird thing.
yea.

Then at lunch I broke down and cried like in front of my friends.. oh, and I had french fries.. and I didn't even finish.. I thought I was hungry! ahh.. but I said it that I was just tired and that I was okay. so it's all good.

yea. I'm gonna go now.
luvz- yin
ps. Mara is the best person ever! thank you mara :-D.

Posted at 08:06 pm by Yinnypoo
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Monday, May 10, 2004

Inability to cry...

Everytime I try to speak
My mouth shuts up

Everytime I need to cry

My eyes dry up

Everytime I wonder why

my world's an empty cup.

Everytime I hurt inside
I just smile and say "wats up?"

These everytimes accumulate
and I begin to drown

Within myself I suffocate
My smile turns to a frown

My eyes soon lose their luster
My smile harder to maintain

My heart is tearing violently
There's cold blood in my veins.

I wish a sun would warm me up
and let my feelings out...

I can't take this silence anymore
So please, just let me shout.

SHOUTING!!
HI I'M YIN and I THINK YOU FIND ME ANNOYING and I FIND MYSELF EXTREMELY ANNOYING. ESPECIALLY WHEN I FEEL AWFUL LIKE THIS BECAUSE>. SERIOUSLY.. WHO CARES ABOUT MY LITTLE PROBLEMS> I"M NOT KIDDING. YOU THINK I'M BETTER DON'T YOU? CUZ I'M SO FRIGGIN SILENT. YEA GUESS WHAT
I"M NOT

BUT I WON'T TELL YOU!!! cuz YOU'RE NOT ME! and I DON'T KNOW YOU VERY WELL. I DON"T KNOW ANYBODY VERY WELL. I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY BF VERY WELL ANYMORE. WE DONT" TALK. HELLO BF! IF YOU'RE READING THIS.. I THINK WE SHOULD BREAK UP. BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU THIS.. cuz IT WOULD BREAK YOU'RE HEART< and it would BREAK MINE TOO. but I'M ALREADY BROKEN, So, IT'LL HURT YOU MORE. and I'M ALSO NOT BEING REASONABLE>> so.. DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT>.. but YOU CAN TALK WITH ME IN A WHILE>> it wouldn't HURT TO TRY TO BE SPONTANEOUS SOMETIMES EITHER.

I'M SICK of my BF I'm SICK of my EXBF, I'm sick of my EXEX BF who I don't even REMMEBER
I'M SICK OF YOU! I'M SICK OF ME! I'm so sick I wanna puke all over and fall from the sky over and over again in a thunderstorm... and have lightening strike me before I touch the ground.

I'M NOT THE SAME RELIGION AS YOU ARE, AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. THEN STOP RIGHT THERE AND TURN AROUND.

HAHA. HI GOD, ARE YOU THERE? it's ME, YIN.. NO I'm NOT MARGARET. SHE WANTS HER PERIOD.. BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE.. CUZ I GOT IT ALREADY. THANKKKS. NOW I'm capable of BEARING KIDS.. and NOW I BLEED EVERY MONTH. WOOHOO! I SURE KNW WHY MARGARET WANTED HERS!! (NOT) BUT ANYWAYS>>> IGUESS IT"S JUST WHAT IT IMPLIES>> SO.. IT"S ALRIGHT.

I THINK IT"S CRUEL THAT MARY HAD A BABY AND SHE WAS VIRGIN. IF IT WERE ME, I"D FREEEAAAK OUTTTTT!!!!! AHHHH! like I JUST HAD A BABY AND I DIDN"T DO ANYTHING!!

WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS U ASK.
I CAN'T CRY THATS WHY.. I NEED TO EXPRESS MY PAIN SOMEHOWWWW SO I TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND YELL AT NOBODY IN PARTICULAR..
BAHHHHH!!
ITS ALL FROM MY MOM SHE YELLS ALOT. I HATE PEOPLE!!
I"M HURTINNNNGGGGGGGG

IT HURTS A LOT TO BE AWFUL.. IT HURTS AWFUL TO BE A LOT!!

I NEED TO GO SHOPPING.. I NEED TO RUN AWAY AND ESCAPE SOMEHOW
I NEED TO KILL MYSELF NOW
GOODBYE!
OMG BUT I CAN'T! I JUST REALIZED THAT>>
SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I"VE FALLEN SO FAR> I NEED TO GET OUT> AHHHHH!!!
GET ME OUUUUT OF HERE!!!

TEN THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY
1. A flower...or a silly song someone wrote about me...
2. a hand written note just babbling on and on about anything at all..

3. Someone to fuss about the wonder of STORMS with me
4. To gaze at the sky under an expansive blanket of stars
5. To babble on about the future.. and how beautiful it would be.. lots of nice dreams and imagery
6. To diss religious wars... they're so violent.. and didn't someone say THOU SHALL NOT KILL!?!?!
7. Shopping.. new shoes, skirts.. pleeaase
8. A surprise party
9. gust of wind saying he's sorry.. and meaning it.. and maybe realizing that I'm not IMMATURE!!
10.bobo spicing up a little again... i'm getting boreeed...it's really not a good recipe of love.. u knw?

thats all u knw? It's a lot ot ask for.. so i don't ask for them.. I don't expect them either..
but they'd be really nice.. it'd be amazing in fact.. I'll go now.. goodnight...

Posted at 10:17 pm by Yinnypoo
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Friday, May 07, 2004

Denial kills

I've been under pain for so long,
but because I have been avoiding it
I no longer know how to express it

I only recognize the sharp breaking
of my heart
when I see something painful, but it goes
cuz i push it away
from my reality that I want to face
instead of something that brings me disgrace
This pain I do not know how to express is
slowly killing me...from the inside out.

it's permeated within my soul.
It's biting me and won't let go
It's never ending and not resolved
but never will be since it can't be unwound

I'm injured and sick, and I can't be cured
I'll be lonely, I can't do it now
I can't let go
I don't know how.

Posted at 11:53 pm by Yinnypoo
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