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Everytime I need to cry

My eyes dry up

Everytime I wonder why

my world's an empty cup.

Everytime I hurt inside
I just smile and say "wats up?"

These everytimes accumulate
and I begin to drown

Within myself I suffocate
My smile turns to a frown

My eyes soon lose their luster
My smile harder to maintain

My heart is tearing violently
There's cold blood in my veins.

I wish a sun would warm me up
and let my feelings out...

I can't take this silence anymore
So please, just let me shout.

SHOUTING!!
HI I'M YIN and I THINK YOU FIND ME ANNOYING and I FIND MYSELF EXTREMELY ANNOYING. ESPECIALLY WHEN I FEEL AWFUL LIKE THIS BECAUSE>. SERIOUSLY.. WHO CARES ABOUT MY LITTLE PROBLEMS> I"M NOT KIDDING. YOU THINK I'M BETTER DON'T YOU? CUZ I'M SO FRIGGIN SILENT. YEA GUESS WHAT
I"M NOT

BUT I WON'T TELL YOU!!! cuz YOU'RE NOT ME! and I DON'T KNOW YOU VERY WELL. I DON"T KNOW ANYBODY VERY WELL. I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY BF VERY WELL ANYMORE. WE DONT" TALK. HELLO BF! IF YOU'RE READING THIS.. I THINK WE SHOULD BREAK UP. BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU THIS.. cuz IT WOULD BREAK YOU'RE HEART< and it would BREAK MINE TOO. but I'M ALREADY BROKEN, So, IT'LL HURT YOU MORE. and I'M ALSO NOT BEING REASONABLE>> so.. DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT>.. but YOU CAN TALK WITH ME IN A WHILE>> it wouldn't HURT TO TRY TO BE SPONTANEOUS SOMETIMES EITHER.

I'M SICK of my BF I'm SICK of my EXBF, I'm sick of my EXEX BF who I don't even REMMEBER
I'M SICK OF YOU! I'M SICK OF ME! I'm so sick I wanna puke all over and fall from the sky over and over again in a thunderstorm... and have lightening strike me before I touch the ground.

I'M NOT THE SAME RELIGION AS YOU ARE, AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. THEN STOP RIGHT THERE AND TURN AROUND.

HAHA. HI GOD, ARE YOU THERE? it's ME, YIN.. NO I'm NOT MARGARET. SHE WANTS HER PERIOD.. BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE.. CUZ I GOT IT ALREADY. THANKKKS. NOW I'm capable of BEARING KIDS.. and NOW I BLEED EVERY MONTH. WOOHOO! I SURE KNW WHY MARGARET WANTED HERS!! (NOT) BUT ANYWAYS>>> IGUESS IT"S JUST WHAT IT IMPLIES>> SO.. IT"S ALRIGHT.

I THINK IT"S CRUEL THAT MARY HAD A BABY AND SHE WAS VIRGIN. IF IT WERE ME, I"D FREEEAAAK OUTTTTT!!!!! AHHHH! like I JUST HAD A BABY AND I DIDN"T DO ANYTHING!!

WHY AM I WRITING ALL THIS U ASK.
I CAN'T CRY THATS WHY.. I NEED TO EXPRESS MY PAIN SOMEHOWWWW SO I TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND YELL AT NOBODY IN PARTICULAR..
BAHHHHH!!
ITS ALL FROM MY MOM SHE YELLS ALOT. I HATE PEOPLE!!
I"M HURTINNNNGGGGGGGG

IT HURTS A LOT TO BE AWFUL.. IT HURTS AWFUL TO BE A LOT!!

I NEED TO GO SHOPPING.. I NEED TO RUN AWAY AND ESCAPE SOMEHOW
I NEED TO KILL MYSELF NOW
GOODBYE!
OMG BUT I CAN'T! I JUST REALIZED THAT>>
SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I"VE FALLEN SO FAR> I NEED TO GET OUT> AHHHHH!!!
GET ME OUUUUT OF HERE!!!

TEN THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY
1. A flower...or a silly song someone wrote about me...
2. a hand written note just babbling on and on about anything at all..

3. Someone to fuss about the wonder of STORMS with me
4. To gaze at the sky under an expansive blanket of stars
5. To babble on about the future.. and how beautiful it would be.. lots of nice dreams and imagery
6. To diss religious wars... they're so violent.. and didn't someone say THOU SHALL NOT KILL!?!?!
7. Shopping.. new shoes, skirts.. pleeaase
8. A surprise party
9. gust of wind saying he's sorry.. and meaning it.. and maybe realizing that I'm not IMMATURE!!
10.bobo spicing up a little again... i'm getting boreeed...it's really not a good recipe of love.. u knw?

thats all u knw? It's a lot ot ask for.. so i don't ask for them.. I don't expect them either..
but they'd be really nice.. it'd be amazing in fact.. I'll go now.. goodnight...